Number two son is much different than his simian siblings; he knows what he wants, knows what he likes, and is not shy at all about informing us of brand, color, size, make or model. Sadly, the Wonderful Wife and I will often find ourselves staring at an Internet order page with a specific object he has fixated on. We have battled about that approach more often than I would like to admit, as both his mom and me struggled to teach him the meaning of " gift"; that it is not an order form to be filled exactly, but a physical representation of a sentiment...
The funny thing is, if I handed him any present, he would smile graciously, say thank you and use it, whatever it was, as we watched. He is very sentimental and grateful for the thought, when receiving a gift; but after a while, he will go back to something that he likes. It took quite a while for me to realize that this newly minted thirteen year old is not demanding, just answering honestly exactly what he really desires. How often as adults, have we been completely frustrated and frazzled by a relative or spouse that only answers with a " I don't want anything " or " I have no idea", when responding to our question?
He is easy to shop for, I'll give him that...
Of course, his hearts desire was back ordered, so when he opened the other small presents setting before him, we smiled a bit sadly while telling him it was on its way.
He was happy in a subdued way. " it was a great day. I love you dad", he said when I hugged him good night.
Skip back about two weeks before...
The eldest McMonkey is the exact opposite. He will bumble around, when asked for ideas for a gift, scratch his head, forget the question and then immerse himself in a video game; suggestions from him are like pulling teeth...
The experience of shopping for him makes me almost wish he would pop an Internet page and a defined object in front of us.
almost....
At an absolute loss of ideas, I wondered what he would really, really want...
I searched, checking specs, trying to find the perfect set up, in a perfect gift, that was in an acceptable enough price range. It took days of reading reviews, comparing configurations, but finally, I had it set...
When the Wonderful Wife asked me the next time if I had any ideas, I pulled up a screenshot with all ordering info readily viewable. Back and forth we bounced off each other the pros and cons, trying to decide...
On the oldest's birthday, he opened a few small gifts, happily. When he opened the main package, he screamed in complete surprise, like he'd won a million dollars in the lottery. He had no expectations and was completed blown away...
So who had the best gift?
Costs were nearly identical, as were the number of presents.
Before you answer, let's jump back three weeks or so...
Father's Day was coming and my little apelets were nowhere to be found. On my way to the upstairs bathroom, I saw one of them looking very emotional, sitting at his desk, with the lamp illuminating the paper he was writing on. Concerned, I went to walk in, and asked him if he was alright. He coughed, said " Sure dad", then gently closed his bedroom door...
Not sure how to react, I grabbed a couple comic books and went into the bathroom. Mission eventually completed, I looked across the hallway as I exited the bathroom, just in time to see my son, still a bit emotional, walking past me, giving me a playful nudge and going downstairs....
Perplexed a bit, I let it go.
On Father's Day, no big presents were offered. My Wonderful Wife told me, as she looked around the table at my three sons, that this year everyone wrote what I meant to them, from the heart. As she spoke, I saw three sets of pupils, nervous, emotional and vulnerable, uncomfortably meeting and evading my eyes...
I began reading cards with many paragraphs, explaining how and why each of these precious McMonkeys loved me. I struggled to hold back tears as I read aloud what they had written; they struggled to hold back tears as they heard the words they wrote.
I didn't do well holding emotions back, and neither did they.
It was the same with the words from my Wonderful Wife...
So, of the three, who had the best gift?
Not the one who got exactly what he wanted...
Not the one who received what he never thought he would get...
But the guy who got the most precious gift, the only gift any of us really needs, is the one who was shown in no uncertain terms, exactly how much he was loved, and by whom...
I think it's that way with God, too...
We think we will be happiest if we're given exactly what we want, a fulfilled list of defined desires, but we usually end up finding that when we get exactly that, something inexplicably is missing.
Sometimes we look at our lives, and are completely amazed and blessed, seeing everything God graced us with, far beyond all our hope and exceeding our imagination... We mistakenly think that is His greatest gift, His greatest demonstration...
Until we hear His Word...
When we Hear His Word, just like how I heard my Wonderful Wife's and children's, deep and personal and undeniable, explaining how much He truly loves and adores us...
When we hear that, we know that is where every other gift comes from...
