The best seat in the house.

                               I guess I always have been an outsider..

    The back chair, far corner, is where I always sit. I've blamed it on old barroom behavior just to get the question off my back, but it started long before the barrooms. I really don't know why I've constantly chosen that seat, but I think it has more to do with my temperament than upbringing or environment; nature more than nurture.

     For years it seems I've been forced to defend this. People I meet think it is an " issue" to get past, not a simple seat choice. They always seem to assume that it is a defensive position. At some times in my life that was a true statement. it may have even been a necessity in those times...

   ... It has become much more than that, now.

                 As a child, I had  always liked to observe how people interacted , how they socialized, although I never had been good at this particular skill set myself.

                 Today, I am a husband and father. This certainly has tossed a wrench into my comfort zone, as now, by default, I need to deal with more people on a deeper personal basis.

     Please don't take this wrong; there are a lot of people I enjoy being around. There are many people I love and whose company I adore. It is just difficult being around them all at the same time. Its not that I'm misanthropic. I do like people, I'm just not comfortable in large groups of them...

                                        Unless I'm in that back chair...The chair changes it all...

           For better or worse, I tend to shrink from the social spotlight and choose that comfortable chair in the back, with a wide view of the room I'm in. Everyone has their place in a group and I suppose that will always be mine. It is not a bad place to be. I get to watch the people I care about laughing and enjoying each other; I see them coming together in a wonderful communion, melding into a holy amalgamation. They are inside it, not knowing what amazingly and intimately, they are creating.

  But from my chair, I get to see it. Being on the outside, I am Blessed to see it in its wholeness...

        It is the best seat in the house...