He started interviewing them both as couples and singlely. The findings that came from the interviews were somewhat disturbing...
It seems, from his fairly limited focus group, most of the people who had stayed married were not that ecstatic about it. Many laughed when asked if they had married their soulmate.
None had said they had...
That disturbed me.
I mentally perused the memories I have of the couples my Wonderful Wife and I know and have hung out with. I thought about how they acted around each other, how comfortable, content and actually happy they seemed.
Generally, I am a fairly dark sceptic, when it comes to human nature. I watch the news or read newspaper articles and always look for the " hook"; never the believer in coincidence.
Conspiracy theories are my bend, when it comes to life and human events.
Funny thing is, that all goes out the window when it comes to how I see marriage...
True to my inherent nature, I am still incredibly sceptical. My sceptisism is focused predominantly now, on that article...
My Wonderful Wife and I still are practically newly- weds.
Married thirteen years...
So I asked her. I described the article I had read earlier in the day and watched her face and studied her body language as she responded.( she is very pretty, so that is very easy to do)
Now, my Wonderful Wife is one of the most trusting people I know. She tends to see the best in everyone and is the first to give benefit of the doubt... Probably because of her inherent honesty and kindness, she has a hard time picturing deceit and deception...
But she was sceptical, also...
I am sure there are many unhappy marriages out there. I happened to be raised in one. I'm also sure a lot of people choose this union for all the wrong reasons, or maybe just for none of the right ones... So I am not completely Pollyanna on this subject.
I am also positive that there are just as many good unions out there, covenants of honor and gentleness and love. There are couples who not only enjoy each others company, but actually wither without it.
I know this because I have witnessed it. I have sat across picnic tables and Church seats with them. I have seen the true joy of people who not only are happy they are married to each other but openly and proudly say that that they did marry their soul mate...
That they still are soul mates...
And I am one of them...
Recently, Mare and I were talking about the phrase " Marriage is hard".
She thought about it for a second, then said that she didn't think it was.
Now I had never really pondered it. Coming home to my Wonderful Wife and kids is always the best part of my day. Sometimes it's tiring, walking thru the door to a plugged toilet or a freezer that is 28 degrees and needs defrosting. Those are moments I could probably live without.
Tiring, yes. Hard? I'm not so sure...
The more I think about it, this Marriage I'm in is more of a refuge from the hardness of the world we live in, than hard itself.
I spent the majority of my life alone. At the end of the day, I walked into an empty apartment and whatever the crap du-jour going on in my life was, it was all mine. Friends helped, but it was my load..
I have not been alone for a long time. Problems? Sure. But it has been a very long time since I had to carry a problem alone.
All syrup aside, the joys of life really do double, when shared.
So I do not buy that article. At least not his " percentages".
Maybe, in the end, I am a closet optimist.
I don't know for sure.
I do know that I am the happiest I have ever been...
...and that I got my soulmate to marry me.
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