To be proper, I should call him by name.
" Baby Bear"
Countless discussions have taken place over the last three or four years, pondering ways that my Wonderful Wife and I could get Jacob to give him up.
Bribery, threats and punishments never worked; frustrated, we were the ones who gave up completely, for a while...
About a year ago, the Wonderful Wife decreed to my youngest bub that his bear was forthwith to stay upstairs, in his room, unless he was spending the night at a friends, uncles or grandmas house. Surprisingly, Jake was OK with that. Unlike Calvin and his Tiger, Hobbs, my mini-McMonkey gently acquiesced...
Since then, I have found him ( the bear) in the upstairs hallway, the landing at the bottom of the stairs, and a few times, in the bathroom cabinet, ...but for the most part, this approach has worked well.
Sometimes Jacob will still run inside, scamper up the stairs and sprint to his bed, just to give " Baby" a quick hug, and then, in a blur, like Dash from "The Incredibles", swooshes thru the house and back out the front door...
Early on, he did resist a bit. I remember asking Jake to hand Bear to me before he left the living room , telling him that I would put Bear on his bed , as he ran outside...
( I did see him sneak upstairs a few minutes later, to make sure that I really had put Bear there...)
He doesn't do that, anymore. He'll hand him to me and disappear.
No question asked...
The bag of stuffed animals in his room gets emptied, now and then, and the stuffed lion and monkey still go on safari with Jake and friends. His giant stuffed dog does maintain a place in our living room;
Jake sits on him, on the floor, on movie nights.
But the bear does stay upstairs, on his bed.
Parents learn to take any win that they get...
In watching Jacobs journey thru this, I can't help but notice the stark similarities in how he transitions forward, is nearly identical to the way I do...
The biggest difference is our choice in "cuddlies".
His are fluffy, soft and comforting.
Like many adults, the things I hold close and resist putting down are quite a bit different...
Worries, fears and grief...
They are the companions I tend to carry with me...
The letting go process, though, is remarkably similar, between my son and I....
For years, God has guided me to leave these struggles with Him, yet I continued to rebel, clutching tighter, fearful of the loss of control. His rewards in every other area of my life didn't change my reaction... Stresses and health threats made no progress or influence, in a timely release...
These were mine...
So He stepped back and gave me space and time.
Eventually, He did tell me, in His own special way, that now was the time for me to put what I'd fearfully clutched into His hands, assuring me, as I did Jacob, that what I handed Him would be safe...
Like Jake, I " snuck upstairs" and checked...
He understood.
And today, for the most part, I am OK with my " snugglies" being placed upstairs, on my bed, in the care of God...
Accomplished thru His Love, and not my Faith...
The Faith is there now, but it was created by Him, in me.
Funny how it usually works that way.
As difficult as the struggles always are, I sometimes wonder how people that don't believe in God get thru them?
Who do they hand this "stuff" to?
When they worry about those they love, where do they place their fear?
Do they ever let it go?
I sit here Graced in my incompetence and Blessed in my ineptitude, because I have Someone Who can handle it all, for me...
I may choose to fight until I am exhausted, like a little child, but when I'm done, my Loving Father will carry me upstairs and put away all my " snugglies"...
Lions, tigers and bears, oh my...
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