I myself, have always been more of a cat person.
Simple, reasonably self sustaining and clean. No slobber, no stepping in dog turds when mowing the lawn and none of that sappy unconditional love that makes people like me feel extremely uncomfortable...
Cats on the other hand, have an innate sixth sense that tells them moments before you REALLY have to go the bathroom. They will run from three rooms away at that time, to leap into your lap, circle exactly two and a half times, then melt into a furry semi circle, fully asleep in seconds...
If you move them, they spurn you for weeks or until the next time your bladder expands, sitting in a recliner...
So we used the fact that my father, who lives with us, is allergic for the excuse de- jour about pets for years. They love their grandpa, so no one complained...
Sad, yes.
Dejected, assuredly...
Accepting... reasonably so...
But as children grow, a disturbing side affect takes place.
They get smarter...
I don't know who to blame for this troubling predicament, but I don't think I can reasonably accuse this one at common core...
Somewhere my children learned that lizards harbor no allergens...
So now we spend at least one trip a week to purchase twelve dozen crickets that our pet lizard can feast upon, throughout the week.
At least he doesn't poop in the yard...
I bring up our lizard, a bearded dragon, for those who don't know, because for the last month or two, he has been shedding.
Bits and pieces that sometimes drop like dandruff and other times curl off him in long and wide sections of lizard skin like jerky...
I used to love arguing politics. Parties, weddings, funerals...
It didn't matter. I guess I've always been a tad bit lacking in the social graces...
Something changed inside awhile back.
It just stopped being fun...
My heart started seeing things as simply right or wrong and I realized also that arguments over right and wrong accomplish nothing....
These are the issues of the heart and the heart can never be changed by linguistic acrobatics...
It can only be changed by love...
There was a time, not so long ago, that I really enjoyed debating religion...
But religion is only politics masquerading as morality...
And more often than not, has no more resemblance to the love of God than the politics, itself...
With my two favorite past times seemingly removed, I found myself at a definate loss.
And much, much quieter...
I spent decades of my life hating myself for a circumstance I thought I caused.
A situation I could not forgive myself for or allow to be forgiven...
I tried letting Jesus take it, but always pulled it back, always retrieved it for my very own..
And own me, it did. Separating me from other Christians, from the depth of fellowship they all shared, because if they knew what I carried, even that I still carried something...something that I could not leave in the trust of Jesus... then really, what kind of Christian could I truly be...
What kind of Christian was I ?
So recently it was brought to my attention that what I harbored within myself and hated, never really transpired...
A lie I naively bought, hook, line and sinker...
Freed by God, from something that never really happened...
These changes in who I am and who and what I thought I was, all happened in the past year.
I have no clue why...
This process of " shedding" is certainly as uncomfortable for me as it is for any reptile. With it, I have the cognizance to ask the "whys".
The "why nows"..
Why clean a vessel so tattered and torn?
What possible purpose could be planned in this?
I have absolutely no clue...
Seriously.
I do know that the purpose of a vessel is to carry something of value to some other person or some other place. To sacrificialy protect its given contents...
To keep it safe and not allow it to be diluted or contaminated...
Now I have nothing inside of me like that. I do have Jesus, but most all of us share that attribute. I am no different than any of you...
Maybe that's the point.
Maybe, as these things are removed, piece by piece, the purpose is to eventually separate me from that chair in the back...
Like I said, I have absolutely no clue...
So these are some of the changes from 2014, in my life...
Quite a freaky and blessed year...
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