Valentines Day on the dark side of forty..

        We had it all planned out for this Valentines Day. Childcare at the Church...well I guess that was all that was actually planned. We had no clue where we would eat or what movie we would watch. We were going out alone though, no kids, just me and my lovely honey.                                   

                                              Then the snow arrived.   

           I came home Friday at four thirty from work to twelve inches of snow in the driveway. My Wonderful Wife and kids already had shoveled the walkway, porch and deck. I snuck the roses and card into the kitchen then headed to the garage and fired up the snowblower.

       To be fair, I had it much easier. My snowblower rocks! It took a little over an hour to finish the driveway and the sidewalk around our property, including the three foot snow banks left by the plow, that blocked the drive. As I brought the snowblower( that rocks!) back to the garage, my Wonderful Wife met me at the door and said if I was to tired, we could stay home, eat Chinese and watch a movie with the kids. I noticed tiredness behind her beautiful brown eyes and the tell tale stiff posture of someone who shoveled entirely too much snow. I looked at the woman I loved and realized I really would love to spend our Valentines night like that. I was tired also, after working a ten hour day and clearing a bunch of snow. I fell asleep in the middle of the movie and went to bed before the credits ended.      Welcome to the dark side of forty...

         Don't get me wrong. I cherish time alone with my amazing better half. It is a commodity now with three kids, aged eleven to eight. A night out with her dressed to the nines, with romance in her eyes is a wonderful thing. The funny part is, she does not need any of that to look beautiful. I watch her scamper down the stairs, no make up, pony tail and wearing workout clothes, running late to her Challenge by Choice sessions and think to myself " She really looks hot!" Really.

      Maybe it helps her feel beautiful. Either way, it is win-win for me...

            I never figured to be one of those couples who shrug at Valentines day. It just happened. I'm not saying its a bad thing but I do believe most couples married longer than four or five years understands it. I think all couples with children get it.

                   You learn with kids, to choose your battles. You learn with your spouse to choose your magic moments. Sometimes they don't coincide with Hallmark and Giardellies calendars.

                          In fact, usually they don't.

            So you learn to steal kisses in the kitchen between fixing children's breakfasts.

      Sometimes you move the kids to the recliners and snuggle together on the couch.

              You send them to bed early so they will be sound asleep by ten o'clock...

                     With children, passion doesn't die, it just hibernates a little while...

                         On a Valentines day like yesterday, at our age, you are more than likely to crank the heat on the fireplace up instead of lighting romantic candles and to take turns rubbing Ben Gay on each others weary backs instead of fragrant massage oils...

                                Once again, welcome too the dark side of forty...

                   I am not complaining. I would not trade my life for anything. We had our season together without distractions or children tugging at our feet. It was an amazing season.

       Let me tell you one secret. This is an amazing season too..

            I would be absolutely lost without my Wonderful Wife and kids. They are by far the best part of any day. It won't be long until the children are adults and the responsibilities that drain us will be happy but far off memories. We will have a lot of time then to maybe revisit that distraction free season, albeit slightly older. I love this season though...

      ...and I look forward to any season, with my Wonderful Wife...