Friday, August 8, 2014

Letters to God...

              Last night was supposed to be an early night for the boys. No movie night. They all had Vacation Bible School in the morning, the two oldest assisting the adults, and my Wonderful Wife was with the pre- schoolers .
              Everyone was tired and almost liked the idea of an early night, until Jacob walked ( in reality, his walk is more of a jog) up to us with a DVD in his hand and asked if we could watch it. Offhand, I looked, preparing a very stern " no", until I saw the title...
                                                         "  Letters to God".
                            To be honest, I had not seen this movie yet. I heard a lot about it and knew it was a Christian movie( Duh!) and it had to do with a kid dealing with terminal cancer...
                         Syrupy and sad. Encouraging and uplifting. The kind of movie that makes a rough around the edges dude tear up and ineffectively attempt holding back actual tears..
                            I have come to terms with the fact that emotionally I am kind of a " girly man". 
                                 My Wonderful Wife knows this and bears witness to it in those times that bring it out... For some strange and unfathomable reason, she thinks it's O.K.
                I really should buy her a few dozen John Wayne movies so she can see how real men should act in such situations. Her Dad loved those movies, so it should be an easy sell...
                                My kids have never watched one of these movies before. Not nearly enough action or explosions. Attention spans for the last few years would have shut them down half way thru..
                                     It seems crazy that I'm more comfortable watching Batman or Spiderman than a movie like this with them. ..
             Is it because I don't want them to see ME touched emotionally or because I don't want to see THEM ...emotionally touched?.?.
                         Probably the latter...
           Not because I REALLY believe the macho- men don't cry at movies- crap... Any guy who saw Old Yeller knows what I'm talking about..
                      I guess I want to protect them from knowing tragedy does still exist in Gods world and that happy endings are often non existent. Sometimes you have to search real hard for meaning or reason. Sometimes it takes an amazing faith to just not curse at God, let alone to trust in him and scratch thru the bad stuff and accept His will as perfect...
                                      I hoped to wait a few years for that...
                                So we watched the movie. 
                                      Everyone was quiet, subdued, but attentive...
                                         The movie ended and we hugged goodnight.
                                        It was a good movie. None of us looked at each other much, staring straight ahead.  
                            My three sons liked the movie. They were uneasy and uncomfortable with its ending.
                                                      In truth, so was I ....
                                    So my kids are ready for more mature themes. Not language or sexuality, but deeper levels with much more gray area, more room for questioning or Faith.
                                            Kind of a boring post, I know...

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