First Christian songs...

                                     A long time ago, years before my initial salvation, my best friends mom invited me to Praise and Worshiping , at their house. I tried to surrender many times, but of course, i had a different road to walk for long while, first.  Mrs. E. never knew how much of an influence that she was in my life, planting and seemingly wasting many fields worth of seeds inside me, that seemed stagnant, as I dove into a completly different type of lifestyle...

                 But I did often go to her house as neighborhood Christians showed up, and my second mom strummed her Autoharp to old Christian songs. I connected with a friend I had grown up with, and he would bring his mandolin and guitar.

                              He introduced me to" new" Christian music ( this was pre 1990s) and my favorite artist was Randy Stonehill. Marty would play his songs along with Bob Dylan, in his Christian years.

                                 For as long as I can remember, I'd been looking for the old album ( yes, I said album. It was a long, long time ago...)

                                 All I can say is that U tunes rocks!

                                          Found it finally.... 

                                      Randy Stonehill -   Welcome to Paradise...

                             Im listening to it as I type, smile on my face, remembering the hope that preceded the darkness...

                          Remembering Jesus was there with loads of his children, preparing my way.

               I wondered why, a little earlier this month, exactly why He took so long. After writing, I sat down and shut up, awaiting inspiration, if not actual direction. Needles to say, Jesus and His flock came thru from the very beginning. I was just too stupid to see it. Every step, there were people waiting for me, not me waiting for God...

                      Recently I was caught up in questions that bound the heart that my Lord had long ago freed. Tracing back thru my life proves that never was I alone or abandoned by Him or His people. It looked that way, because I spent most of my time looking at the wrong end of the compass, of my own heart...

                    A striking reality is not so gently bashing my tiny brain today with these facts.

                          I'm almost ashamed at how much was invested in me, along the way, long before there seemed to be anything worth hoping for.

                                                               Almost...

                                  But this heart has its compass pointed toward Jesus's Faithfulness and is driven by an awe that He would be so patient, for so long,  let alone that His followers would. They constantly seemed to show up and frazzle me with their unconditional love, at the most right, yet in opportune time...

                               So today, I see that no one is further than a hands grasp away, as close as someone's prayer... As close as anyone's prayer...

                                        God worked deeply in Mrs.E... He worked with all those who celebrated His gifts and His Words. He not only heard, but answered the prayers for me, sent to Him decades ago.

                         Little by little, I am being grown in Faith. Sometimes gently guided and other times brutally dragged... But the Truth is that Work is happening inside me, by greater love and power than I am capable of.

                    So today I send prayers of thanks for all those who chose to to people my life, with Gods Grace, especially when their seemed no earthly reason to do so.

              Maybe that's part of how it works. We love and believe in those who are completely earthly hopeless. We use the only power that we personally have, access to God, thru prayer.

              Prayer and love, especially for the unlovable, seem to help instigate God to perform miracles... Maybe not instigate, because I'm sure the miracle was already in his plan A all along. Maybe He just wanted to see his children notice and address a brothers need, in the only way they new how...

                      With the only " power" they had...

                        I don't know. Most of these questions and theories will end up in my " God box"..

                             You know the one, the one that holds all the question you have ever had and written down, that you just couldnt answer, and placed it in the box, to ask Him later. No matter how much you read His Word and ask guidance from those with more Faith, Trust and Experience in such areas, nothing seems to fit... So you plan to ask, when you eventually see Him.

             I have mine. My plan is to ask for answers when we meet in Heaven. I've got a strange feeling that I will be voiceless and too lost in gratitude to utter a word...

               But I keep that box anyway, mostly to help build my trust and faith. I trust that I do not need all those answers today and that my life will function forward with absolutely no ill effects, without them...

         The truth is that His answers are not mine for the asking. Maybe that's why he didn't want Adam to eat that apple, in the first place.

                  It doesn't matter. I am blessed and have had Angels on my shoulders since the very beginning. Maybe some were humans. Maybe most were humans, I don't know...

   One more slip of paper for " The God Box..."