Sunday, April 19, 2015

Brain freeze and memory skips...

                                                           Who needs Disney?
                                      I laugh a lot at the running jokes in my brain...
                         I know I've written bits and pieces about my scattered thinkerer and that most people probably assume I'm joking or playing it up a bit; a smidgen of poetic license...
                                                                    Nope. 
                                            My brain really does operate this way..
                                     For a few years I was kind of worried about it. You read articles and see stories on the big old television screen reciting symptoms and timelines that would scare anyone, with any of them...
                                      I am blessed in a few fairly neat instances. Both long term and short term memory of mine are equally shot. Nothing progressive, never getting worse.
                        But names of long ago and yesterday still elude me. Friends tell me of stories and all I can do is gently nod my head. " You remember that, right"?, they laugh, in their certainty...
                              Inside this old noggin, all that the magic crayon draws is a blank...
                                   One of the more comforting parts of these memory gaps are they have been my " normal" for my adult life. There was a time in my teen years I could remember almost anything I heard or read and I didn't even need to be paying attention...
                                       The last thirty years, not so much...
                    If I drop a screw from my hand at work, I'll ask the guy underneath my ladder to please hand me " the turny thing" I dropped. Simple words disappear and I grab the best visual verbs floating by, to name them...
                               Like I said, if this hadn't been my " normal" for more years than I have comic books, it might be unnerving.
                                              I'm not complaining, mind you...
                       Have you ever seen the shuttering frames of old movies, strobing on a cinema screen?
           That is my brain on ... me , except that these frames shown do not follow any animators chronological order and are mixed and interspersed together, a color and black and white cornucopia of fifty unorganized years...
                             When I'm asked a question, that crazy, half erased Rolodex flips thru, just like one of those old cartoon books, that made the pictures move when the corner is rifled, like a deck of cards...
                    I guess I'm like a beat up old hard drive, still useful, but slow and inconsistent...
                                            That's not true. My brain does work quickly and efficiently, quite a bit of the time, just not predictably. I can write a PLC program one moment and set up the communication protocol without incident.
                             Then I can't recall the proper name for a shoe lace...
                                     Maybe I hit capacity and for every one thing added, another mysteriously dissolves, from that same day, or any other moment, within the last fifty years?
                              
                                           It's not just the memory thing, ideas and concepts and stories flip thru this brain. Out of nowhere, old poems or chemical equations pop into my thoughts, eradicating any previous occupant...
                One moment I'm cooking dinner,  and the next I'm seeing the insides of an internal combustion engine, in my thoughts...
                        Contemplating a marinara recipe and seeing a CNC wiring diagram...
                                 
                              This really is kind of exciting,  in a non linear / Daliesque way.
                                   I wouldn't change my brains gearing, but I would like a tad more control of its speed and some kind of limiter on the torque.
                                    Other than that, no complaints here...
                                          
                                   

No comments:

Post a Comment