Women are scary and confusing.
That's about it...
My oldest boys are starting to be interested in girls. They won't admit it, but having been a semi pubescent nose picker myself, I am familiar with the look.
At nearly thirteen years old, I'm thinking that my eldest is ready for words of wisdom, regarding the fairer sex. Sadly, he has me for a dad, and most of what I know falls further into the error column than the success one...
Nobody ever taught me how to treat women, growing up. I watched John Wayne and Chuck Norris, but they gave me equealy unrealistic expectations of both bar fights and " what women want".
I never watched Carey Grant movies because he seemed more girly than the women in the Chuck Norris films. Somehow, back then, Alan Alda was seen as a ladies man.
I still haven't figured that one out...
So most of what I have to share with them will come from the myriad of mistakes I've made, instead of my minute waffle cone of feigned competence ...
Here is my list. Please feel free to respond with any suggestions you think that should be removed. In truth, I'm hoping that thru a series of erasure, nothing will be left on the list and I can evade this whole situation ...
That is my dad "rule #3". Escape and evade.
Just kidding ( sort of )
1- Be nice.
Most girls and women are forced to deal with enough idiots. Don't be one of them. It might appear that it works for these guys and often, for some unexplainable reason, it does...
But it's not worth it. Nice guys may finish last, but they end up happier.
2- Be truthful.
Don't lie.
Once again, for some reason, with some guys, it does work, but never for long.
Integrity is one of the most important qualities you can have, in most women's eyes. If you need to lie to her, to impress her, she's just not worth it...
Integrity, like trust, is so much easier to maintain than it is to earn back. Most times, when either of those are lost, they are irretrievable.
3- Be real.
If you put on a show of who you think she wants, or who you want to be, you will never end up with someone who wants who you really are...
Nothing is more exhausting than trying to keep someone's love, by being someone else.
Absolutely nothing...
4- Be old-fashioned.
Hopefully, by now, they've learned to open doors for people. All people, women, men, old folks and kids... Not because your trying to impress a girl, but because that is just the kind of guy you are. Open the door for her because she is a lady and deserves to be treated as such. If she has a problem with it , explain that it's not because she can't open a door for herself, but it is just who you are and how you treat ladies...
If it is who you are...
If you are my son, all I can say is it better be who you are, by the time you are thinking about girls. If not, we've got a whole other conversation to visit, before this one starts...
5- Be respectful.
This probably belongs at #1, too...
If your interested in her, tell her why. Point out the qualities she has that you like and admire. Value her opinions and listen, really listen, as she speaks them...
Remember rule #2... If you can't find anything other than her looks that you value, seriously question your dating choice. If all you want is a trophy, save both of you a lot of time and and energy and buy a Challenger Hellcat with the 700 h.p. engine, instead...
In the end, it will be cheaper and a lot less heartache, for all concerned...
6- Be courageous.
A faint heart never won a fair lady. Fair, of course, being in the eye of the beholder.
Society has a lot of twisted ideas about what it takes to be " manly"...
The most courageous thing a man can do is to present himself honestly, to another, and risk rejection. Most every other " manly" things in our culture are just simple posings...
7- Have fun.
Laughter can erase an amazing amounts of missteps and mistakes.
I have absolutely no idea how this works, but it does.
Having fun, laughing and enjoying each other's company are the seeds that love sprouts from. It's absence can make an hour feel like eternity...
I think it's all encapsulated in just being a decent guy...
Trying to be a good man, a good young man, that understands the value and worth of the young lady he's courting...
This is the best I've got to give them...
I hope it's enough...
No comments:
Post a Comment