Well maybe not one wish, but probably my 10th...
I remember about 25 years ago, when I was living in Bennington, Vermont, and walking from my tiny one bedroom apartment, up the street, to the corner store, on the way to an A.A. meeting...
I had just started going back to " the rooms", after the ex- fiancée and her son Austin moved back to the other side of the duplex, with her mom.
I didn't talk to a lot of people, back then, but the kid at the counter and I always joked around, when I stopped there to pick up my diet Pepsi.
Sometimes I purchased a few ice cream sandwiches for the two and a half block walk left,to the meeting.
I was still guarded at the meetings, but for a few moments every day, I nonchalantly chatted with him.
We weren't friends and never had any deep or meaningful conversations, but that stop was one of the few non-low points, in a lot of my days...
An acquaintance who listened and laughed at the same stupid things I did, and for a few simple moments, broke up a boring walk towards a roomful of people that emotionally, scared the hell out of me...
After about six months of stopping for a soda, a lady began working that shift. She told me when she started, that he died in a car crash, a few days before.
Have you ever had people in your life that slipped under the radar, making a difference in your life, while you stood by , mostly oblivious?
You know, those " non- friendships", those trivial aquaintencaces that create an invisible value and can only become noticeable, in their absense?
I'm thinking about those people today.
The night I met my Wonderful Wife, she had no idea that I had fallen in love with her. For the six years that followed, on the few times we crossed paths, she remained clueless about how I felt about her.
That gets me thinking...
Once again, I face a fact about myself that bothers and comforts me in nearly equeal proportions...
Most all of the people who have touched me in this life will probably never know it. They will think that the random " bump into's" and brief, nonchalant conversations that followed were just ordinary and unimportant moments.
I don't generally go deep or serious and rarely give an impression that most encounters affect me. Not many of them are full of " substance", hence the illusion of unimportance...
So many of the people in my past never knew...
I don't know if this is normal or just completely off the plate, weird.
For someone like me, those tiny little "un-events" matter...
A few posts ago, I shared about a guy at work who fell out, had CPR and a defibrillator attached, and was brought back to life...
He died a few days after.
We never talked about deep things and mostly chatted about seafood chowder recipes and compound bow reviews. We mentioned families once or twice between us, but just numbers..
Numbers of kids, numbers of wives...
He had two of each...
We both parked at the far end of the parking lot, every morning, while the rest of the mill wrestled for the spots nearest the entrance.
I think of him when I pull in the parking lot now, and see the empty space beside mine.
Not a good friend and no meaningful conversations between us, but there is an uncomfortable absence beyond the painted lines , at the end of the lot...
So if you are one of those people that I bump into in Church basements or walk into at the supermarket and we talk for awhile...
You matter more than you know...
So Hanks rule of thumb:
Take how I appear and multiply how much you think I value you by a factor of ten...
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