He rolled over a cart carrying an ancient TENS unit, explaining that he would be attaching the electrodes and electrically stimulate the muscles affected. " Neat" I said, " I finally get to be tazed ". He laughed a little, as he attached an ice pack over the electrodes. " Not quite" he replied, as my honey gave me that " Can you just act normal for once?" look...
Yeh, right....
He wraps a Velcro strap around my chest to hold the ice packs in place, then starts fiddling with buttons and dials on the console. " This worked the other day... " he mumbles.
"I always have problems with this one... This isn't right, those numbers shouldn't be flashing" he troubledly states...
All of the sudden, I start shaking, convulsing and clenching my teeth. Mare's eyes grow as large as saucers and the color drains from her face as she reaches toward me in a panic...
Until I start laughing...
I laughed so hard and so loud that the Velcro strap ripped apart and the ice packs fell off of me, onto the floor. " You are an idiot" she says much louder than she intended , moving to whack me on my arm, but stopping in mid- whap, remembering it is my bad arm facing her...
I'm still laughing as the therapist bends down, confused over the debacle that just transpired behind his back. Mare shakes her head as he asks what happened, biting her lip, and I attempt to explain thru unrestrained fits of laughter and giggles, that I freaked her out by pretending to be shocked...
He wasn't nearly as amused as I was.
He may have been even less amused than my Wonderful Wife was...
No, she was definitely less amused...
He gets the zappers working, tingling my shoulder and then decides to exit the room, leaving us alone.
I look over into her beautiful eyes, but catch her steely, unamused gaze...
" You can really be an idiot, sometimes. I love you, but really, sometimes you are just an idiot. I'm not kidding. It is not funny, and it can be really annoying "
I start to stutter and stammer that she knew that when she married me, but she cut me off in mid sentence.
" I know this is how you are" she says, as her face slowly softens. Her eyes relax a bit and get that gentle twinkle I have become accustomed to, these last fifteen years. She takes a long, deep breath and slowly smiles. " I know your not going to change, but I had to say this and make sure that you heard me. You can be an idiot and sometimes, it really drives me crazy"...
With that, she softly touches my forearm, closes her eyes for a moment, while gently shaking her head and smiles, more out of exasperation than humor..
I love my Wife...
She must really love me...
I smile writing this, as I begin to comprehend that none of this stuff is in the wedding vows. Nowhere is a clause that says I will love you even when you are a blooming idiot. No one ever mentions the stuff like that...
Sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, they make sure gets spoken, but that part about being driven crazy, often, by traits that will never change in your perspective spouse doesn't even get a quick gloss over.
Maybe it's because no one would believe it? Maybe because in the very beginning, we hide that secret hope that we really can change those things in our spouses, at least just a little?
I absolutely, irrevocably, adore my Wonderful Wife and would do most anything under the sun, in my capabilities, to make her comfortable and happy...
But I am still an idiot, sometimes.
No matter how much I try, that fact will never, ever change.
I am so blessed to have a woman who gets that that this is just part of my package. I certainly have changed in these past fifteen years or so, and much of the need for those changes that have taken place were pointed out, gently by her...
You do that, both of those things, when you love someone...
You change, and sometimes you also guide the one you love, to do that too...
It's kinda cool, that way..
But you do see those things that are intrinsic in their DNA that will never change, idiosyncrasies definitive of their unique being, that are pretty much eternal...
And you love them anyway.
I'm not even sure if it's a choice...
But you do.
And they do.
It is pretty cool, that way...
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