Monday, May 25, 2015

Been awhile...

                                                     I hit a bit of a dry spell. 
                                                  Maybe more of a tired spell...
                       Tired of the news, tired of the politics, tired of all the contraversy...
                                   Not knowing what to write because I don't know what to feel. I find myself getting lost in my own heart and my own brain.
                            So I did my best to not shut them down, but not keep them on one hundred percent charge, either... 
          Let them both " fade" in, get their respective grooves in sync.
                                Probably has something to do with missing Church three weeks in a row. That probably is not the cause, but a very big symptom.
                  Not really wanting to look deeper into those symptoms...
                                                  But I think I'm synced...
                                                              I think...
                             So let's jump into the pool where Angels fear to tread water..
                                    Lotta chatter about this Duggars thing.
                       My initial reaction to pedophiles is probably the same as most decent people out there. Cut off offending parts, toss them in prison and feel justified and vindicated in my judgement.
         Bring out the plethora of studies that strongly show that the recivitism is over ninety percent.
                      Given the opportunity, they will offend again...
                                               Helpless kids and evil, sick perverts.
                                   The math seems simple and results incontavertable.
                                                No brainier, by definition...
                                   But God rarely gives us those " simple" spiritual tests without tossing in a few " stickler points" to think about, agitate our hearts judgements and turn utter simplicity into something more chaotic...
                  Up front, if any of my children, any of my family was assaulted, I can assure you, all bets would be off. I would not be open to spiritual questions and heart cavitation...
                                             Pure vengeance, pure and simple.
                  I may or may not be proud of that reaction. I probably wouldn't care if I was right, or on the side of Angels, whether I was, or not...
                        But I'm not in the middle of it. Thank God, I am not in the middle of it...
                            I think about a fourteen year old boy assaulting a child much younger and my first reaction is " How the Hell could that happen?".
                        First thought goes to the child. Get them safe, get them help.
                            Pray God will give them as gentle of a healing, body, mind and soul, as He can, possibly Grace...
                                    Fourteen years old. Not quite sure how to deal with that...
                   Address the crime. Protect any who could be victimized, in the future..
                          Address the sickness, address the evil. Find out where he learned this behavior, and from whom...
                         There are States that toss kids like this into prison general populations, part punishment and part sacrifice. There was a time I would have pushed him in and turned the key, myself.
                                                                  Not today.
      I have absolutely no idea what the right answer is. I am almost certain that the above reaction is not it.
                     My heart and brain have found no sync on this one...
                  Sad thing is that whatever anybody suggests, there will be a large portion of me agreeing with them, and just as large of a piece, disagreeing...
                                           
                                          
                                        I don't believe in a cure. I know God can change hearts, but also am acutely aware that free will is never removed, as God adds His Grace...
                                As long as we are human, no gaurantees exist.
                                       And humans demand gaurantees...

                                           So my God box gets one more note.

           I pray for everyone. Everyone involved, everyone hearing of it and finds their hearts troubled.
                    Everyone certain they have all the answers and everyone,like me, who hasn't any of them...
                                   It is in Greater Hands than any here.
                              Not the courts. Not the media. Not those sure of how to proceed...
                      
                                        Like all else, it is in a Perfect Gods Hands, Who holds infinite hearts in His perfectly Graced fingertips...
                                   One of the reasons that terrible things like this happen, is to give us an opportunity to define our Belieifs, our Faith.
                                                   
                                                      Gods Law.
                                                     Mans law.
                                                     Gods Grace...
                                   As i sheepishly admitted earlier,I have no answers, just suppositions and coarse judgements.
                                   My brain never doubts, although it is often wrong.
                                    My heart struggles, but more often than not, is correct.
                                         Both are lost here...

                                              



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