Never. Not once. Thought it might happen. Never did.
On the bright side of that same coin, what I do learn, I tend to learn well. My thick Polish skull, when finally penetrated after a multitude of failed attempts does have a fairly decent retention rate.
The problem with that is that most of the things I have learned in my life were basic common sense to everyone else.
Probably everything I learned was, but just in case, I thought I might write some of these lessons down for the three growing boys of mine. They may have unfortunately inherited their fathers Neanderthal habit of approaching all obstacles in life head first and not my Wonderful Wife's intelligence and sensibilities...
I know as a Christian, I should be quoting The Bible chapter and verse for all the circumstances that they come across. Sometimes I do. But when they get headstrong and weave a little off course, maybe a few non secularly learned lessons can make the way back easier and might even prevent one or two bruised shins and a couple migraine headaches, number nine.
I suppose one of the first things I would give them would be a set of questions I was asked long ago.
" What do you want? What are you willing to give up for it?"
This was one of the harder questions I ever had to answer. It seemed like years, the times I went back and forth with a thousand different answers until it finally neatly snapped in place, like the last piece in a jigsaw puzzle. It actually did take me years to finally answer that question. I found no one could answer it for me just as I cannot answer for them, only ask. Asking, though is one of the best lessons I can give them.
" You can't have it all, but you can have all that matters."
Pretty self explanatory. Answering the question I put before does make this one a bit easier.
Here is one that I hope they never learn first hand.
" It is EXTREMELY easy to lose all that matters by being stubborn and/or stupid."
Once again, pretty self explanatory. Probably not for men. Not until they've done it at least once... Like I said, I hope they all bypass this one.
" A faint heart never won a fair lady"
Feminists, please take a breath and read a little further before you take offense. This is not just about dealing with women. It is about dealing with life, a way of approaching life.
It is also about approaching women. Do so with sincerity, honesty and full knowledge that you are dealing with a lady, even if she doesn't think she is. Especially if she doesn't think she is.
" Sometimes you can't win, cant break even and can't get out of the game"
When they hit this spot in life i hope they remember one thing:
In times like these, the only way out is "Through".
Of course I can't forget " Billy Jack"...
" If your outnumbered and are going to take a beating anyway and there is absolutely no way out, throw the first punch".
Pretty self explanatory too. Usually there is another way. I spent the first half of my life hitting and being hit. The funny thing is, in the last half of my life, I haven't had to thump anyone or be thumped by anyone. I learned to stay away from the people, places and things that attracts that lifestyle and magically things changed. Maybe there's a lesson there, also?
" Love wholly, completely and without judgement"
This was stolen from Norm Petersons speech to Sam Malone on the last episode of " Cheers". It probably is one of the most important things to keep in mind from all the rambling minutia I'm putting down here. In the end this will most likely be the only real thing anyone remembers about any of us, how we loved...
The last lesson on my list? Once again, plagiarized.
I never said I invented all of these. Some of these, maybe, but I have lived all of them and thru this life, I have found many people who said what my soul had learned better than I ever could.
I'd be stupid to not repeat their wisdom.
This brings me to my favorite and most quoted, from the movie " Micheal".
" Sparky, never let anyone tell you that you can have to much sugar"...
"I'll miss this place so much..."
I know this is kind of a strange thing to say, coming from an old recovering drunk and druggie, but you have to watch the movie and understand the context.
The Archangel Micheal made a deal with God that he would come down to Earth and try to give a miserable man back his soul and help him regain the ability to love. He is savoring all of the joys mankind takes for granted, sugar, battle and more on this last trip down, as it IS his very last time here. He speaks to the dog sitting near him about how hard and tricky this task will be. He looks across an amazing horizon and almost in tears says " I'll miss this place so much.."
I hope my kids learn to view all the amazing gifts God has given us in much the same way as Micheal did. I hope they enjoy this trip here and know how incredibly short it really is.
Not much of a list. They probably will never need it. But if they do, it's here...
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