Saturday, January 18, 2014

Missed exits...

   My Wonderful Wife took my two youngest children to a neat kids community event tonight where they would be painted with fluorescent paint and shaving cream and then hang out and dance under black lights. It seems like a pretty cool deal. I would have done it at their age. Heck, I would do it at this age.
  Nick, who is our oldest son, stayed home with me. We played card games and started our own movie night with a re-run of Iron Man 3, complete with popcorn covered with half a stick of melted butter and sea salt. It was some good.
              This has been a very long work week, 66 hours rebuilding a major machine that produces more than any other converting machine our company owns. Never before has so many sections been rebuilt mechanically and electrically, since it was first assembled.These things historically never finish on time and without a hitch, so my personal stress level was high , although well masked. This afternoon she started up with almost no problems and I was home by noon. After a quick shower and braised cabbage for lunch, I brought my middle son Stephen to his teams first basketball game ( which they won).
              I then played a board game my youngest son, Jacob invented, with him and had quite an enjoyable afternoon, all said and done. After the card game in the evening with Nick, I planned to start this blog, half paying attention to the movie and Nick. We had already played cards so I figured that this time would be mine.
                I saw it in his eyes as I powered up my I pad. He didn't say anything. I asked him if it would bother him if I wrote my blog as we watched the movie. He mumbled it would be O.K. but I sensed something different. The  I pad was turned off and he sat with me, cuddled into my chest and I realized the movie or the blog were not that important right then. " We don't get much time together anymore buddy, do we?" I asked. He melted into my chest further and shook his head no...
            Hours later and all the important things needing to be addressed completed, I am back at the little touch keyboard at the bottom of the screen....
                Somewhere in an earlier post I promised to write a bit about missing exits. This seems like a decent time to explain that..
           Long ago, on my not yet Wonderful Wife's and my first official date, we logged a lot of road time. I lived in Schuylerville and she lived a block away from St. Peters hospital on Winnie St. In Albany. I had an unofficial reservation at the Old Bryant Inn in Saratoga with a table near the fireplace.
         It was the perfect combination of casual and comfortable elegance, nice enough to let her know she was special but not too formal to be intimidating for a first date. I did choose well. My plans wound up mis-directed.
         It was a crazy night. I stopped to get flowers from the florist in the mall on the way. I brought into the store a small piece of corral I purchased at a roadside stand in the Keys and had the lady set it up as a centerpiece. I smiled, believing this would be the perfect arrangement, the perfect date...
      On the way out of the malls door I ran into an old flame who I had dated and had not treated very well. I wasn't abusive, just inattentive and dismissive. In retrospect I would say she was one of the sweetest and most loyal people I knew. I met her husband and the first thing she said was " You never bought ME flowers"!  I apologized and said that was a big mistake and I certainly should have given her flowers and that she deserved to have been treated much better. I congratulated her husband and ran out the mall door.
              I showed up on time and MaryAnne looked amazing. I did my best to mask my twitterpation as we hopped into my old Ford F-150 and headed north towards Saratoga. We talked constantly on the ride, laughing just like the night of our first dinner meeting at our friends, Julia's.
       I missed my exit, lost in conversation and the happiness in seeing excitement and nervousness in her eyes, in the passing headlights.
      We laughed more and after another attempt pulled off the northway and headed to The Inn.
             The waitress I spoke with evidently was unaware of a bartenders convention meeting at the restaurant taking place the night she said that table would be available...
      Back onto an entrance, going South to The Weather Vane..
        It was a thirty minute wait but we kept talking, while sitting, waiting and walking to the table.
           She mentioned an incident that she thought would scare me off. I told her that I don't do casual.
      I asked that if it seemed to her that this wasn't working that she would please tell me. I was done playing the field and I'd been down to many roads and wasn't looking for another dalliance or more head games. How about we just be adults and stay open and honest about where we are and what our intentions are? Mine was a serious relationship and wherever it took us.  Give it a shot and if it stagnated, cut our losses. If it went further, then further we would go...
           Certainly not the most romantic dinner conversation.
           Then I ate the entire lemon wedge from my iced tea.
               After we realized neither of us was being scared off, some of the tension dropped away.
          Dinner went quickly and we didn't want the night to end. Back to the mall to see "Castaway".
             The movie ended and I brought her home. I asked to kiss her goodnight and she said yes.
                 Home I went. I had to work in Waterford the next morning.
                     It has been over thirteen years and the funny thing is, we still miss exits.
                It doesn't matter who is driving or how long the trip. It is inescapable..
          We are fully aware of this pattern and try to be vigilant but we always seem to find ourselves immersed in conversation and ultimately, turning around, backtracking to our original destination.
    It always brings out a laugh between us, that special unspoken shorthand between husband and wife. It is a comfort, more often than not; knowing we still captivate each other when we speak.
 Knowing our soulmate is concentrating on our thoughts and feelings, no matter how seemingly menial or trivial to others they may be...
        Our boys laugh at us when this happens. They don't get it yet, but hopefully someday they will.
              My other hope on a more serious note is that when the time comes, God gives us one more shot at this, to miss that last exit, one time. One chance to drive by that ultimate exit and look at each other with a hint of laughter and a bit of tears. To turn back around and make that last turn off..It has been how He has watched us live this life, this covenant from the very beginning. It would be an appropriate punctuation for our story when it eventually does end....

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